I love this analogy about the choices we have for engaging with others on planet earth … Imagine you are holding a cup of coffee when someone comes along and bumps into you or shakes your arm, making you spill your coffee everywhere. Why did you spill the coffee?

“Because someone bumped into me!”

Wrong answer. You spilled the coffee because there was coffee in your cup. Had there been tea in the cup, you would have spilled tea. Whatever is inside

the cup is what will spill out.

Therefore, when life comes along and shakes you, which will happen, whatever is inside you will come out. It’s easy to fake it, until you get rattled.

So, we have to ask ourselves … “what’s in my cup?”

When life gets tough, what spills over? Joy, gratitude, peace and humility?

Anger, bitterness, victim mentality, and quitting-tendencies? Life provides the cup, you choose how to fill it.

Let’s work towards filling our cups with gratitude, forgiveness, joy, words of affirmation, resilience, positivity, kindness, gentleness and love for others.

My most treasured life tool is gratitude but it needs to be explored and used every day. Here are some ways to bring gratitude into our daily practice: 

• Slow everything down by walking in gratitude; appreciate your surroundings.
• Soften towards your family, friends and colleagues. 

• Thank others for the smallest kindness. 

• Forgive yourself, be gentle on yourself. 

• Give people the benefit of the doubt; don’t take things personally. 

• Actively notice new things to feel grateful about. 

• Show compassion to self and others. 


Credit to: Austin Tang for the analogy

The plane descended through the clouds, below it a patchwork landscape of green and golden hues. The fertile fields and grazing pastures revealed the agricultural heart of St George, interspersed with the meandering waterway of the Balonne River, a rich lifeline for the region. As the wheels made contact with the airstrip, passengers peered out of the window with a sense of awe at the raw beauty of the landscape. 

As I stepped from the plane, memories of previous travels gave way to the present, while a breeze carried the scent of dust and diesel from a nearby generator. Fellow travellers said their goodbyes and located their lifts to navigate their separate ways into town. An arbour of overhanging trees swayed in the afternoon breeze as my thoughts moved to the challenges and delights of living in such a pretty country town.

It wasn’t hard to locate the CWA at Thallon the next day for the first of the many Queensland Writers Centre’s, Stay Connected Workshops in North-West Queensland. This small town not far from St George, with its big heart and embracing spirit, welcomed me as each woman attending the workshop brought with them an air of excitement, unchecked curiosity, and freshly baked treats from their ovens. 

First things first, and after some home-made scones, generously slathered with jam and cream, and a cup of strong tea, the group made their way into the CWA meeting room to begin. Each of the women, ranging in age from their 50s into their 80s, found their place at a big square table, and with much goodwill and delight we commenced our journey of learning together. 

Introductions began with each person finding out something new about the person beside them, and in this small community of a little over 200 people, some of the participants had to try hard to uncover new information. But they did and shared their stories generously, interspersed with bursts of surprised laughter from the others in the room. One woman confessed to her friend sitting beside her that it was she who stole her scissors in grade 3. Which proved that it’s never too late to share a buried secret.

These discussions were revealing and created a structured space for introspection, allowing everyone to delve into meaningful conversations with fellow creatives. They discovered that sharing their experiences and perspectives has the power to enrich the communal fabric well beyond this one-off experience.

The ice-breaker completed, we talked about how, when carefully chosen, words have the capacity to articulate unspoken pain, and unbound joy, and once woven into the fabric of storytelling, can become a balm for unseen wounds. Words can change a life, free a soul, bring happiness, educate, uplift, inspire, instil hope, creating a healing tapestry that helps make sense of the human experience. 

I then took the participants through a brainstorming exercise, where they decided to focus on four significant events in their lives and jotted down everything they could remember of that time. At first, they were tentative, then enthusiasm took hold, with each writing dot points of these event. They extended this exercise by writing a paragraph about each of these incidents. I asked them to include any characters they meet along the way, to show how that person may have shaped or impacted their lives. The only provision was to write whatever came to mind, not to edit or alter their first thought. So began their first step towards writing their story.

Once these stories were unlocked, the next step was to delve into the character and backstory of their protagonist, by answering rapid-fire questions about their character at the age and time of the story. Things like: What do they think they want? What do they think they look like? What do they remember about their childhood? When did they feel most unlike themselves? What are they afraid of? What do they need? What do they love? What do they hate? What makes them laugh or cry?

This revealed unmapped information and encouraged childlike playfulness, prompting the writers to view their world with fresh eyes, and rejuvenating their perspective. They became an attentive observer, not just about the character of the protagonist, but by appreciating the colours and shapes around their central character.

Each person held their own story, yet were united by a shared longing for expression and connection. Not just outward connection, with friends and community, but to their inner creativity, through stories of hardship, loss, joy, goodness and generosity.

In each of the workshops, the revelation of affording ourselves self-care in the writing process struck a chord. Nurturing ourselves is integral to producing meaningful and creative writing. One striking aspect echoed by many participants was the importance of self-compassion in their writing practice. It’s too easy to be harsh and critical of our work. Many people give up writing altogether because the call of their self-critic overpowers them. Writing, often viewed as a solitary pursuit, can be reframed as an act of self-care which includes kindness to oneself, humanity, mindfulness, and compassionate listening. 

Listening seems like it should be a simple act, yet many people find it difficult. Perhaps because it requires the listener to be focused on what the other person is saying, as well as being present within themselves. It also requires vulnerability as the other person may expose, or trigger the listeners’ feelings of insecurity or anxiety. Compassionate listening has the potential to make us great writers. It is also a gift which freely given, can start a healing process and help others to find their own solutions.

Many of the groups I worked with decided to continue meeting with monthly catch-ups and asked for some writing prompts. I offered sentences for them to use at each of these meetings to serve as a stimulation for their writing. Their favourites were: One day this will all make sense … Walking through the graveyard, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was being watched … It had been the happiest day of my life when … She was here, standing in front of my house again … Using these prompts to ignite their imaginations was a fast-track way to jumpstart the creative mind. 

They extended their experience together by reading each other’s stories and offering kind and sensitive feedback, providing a space for them to share and celebrate their progress. The stories revealed by these women will be carried in the hearts and imaginations of the group revealing insights into the land and people of this remarkable country.

In the fast-paced world of doing, we have programmed ourselves to think our worth is in how much we can achieve in any given day, by ticking off the daily to-do lists methodically. Finding moments of self-discovery and community connection is rare. 

Several people confessed to joining the workshop without knowing anything about it. As the day unfolded, they said how much they enjoyed the insights into writing, the opportunity to learn about their creativity and the prospect of making new friends. 

We ended the day with each person creating a collage from old magazines, stickers, and colourful paper. Without any rhyme or reason, scissors and glue were used to cut and paste the pictures and words that they were drawn to. Even though most did not consider themselves artists, this task allowed everyone to communicate thoughts, feelings, and experiences by visually expressing themselves creatively. Everyone said the process was meditative, calming, and served as a tool for self-reflection, helping them to connect with their inner selves, and build on their personal narratives. 

It’s always a privilege to guide new writers on an expedition of learning and the Stay Connected gatherings proved to be a transformative experience for attendees, offering not only creative ideas about writing but also valuable day-to-day skills to share with others. It underscored the importance of regular connection, whilst providing a space for individuals to share and celebrate their stories. 

In the tranquil outback, these women wove a tapestry of stories, experiences, and dreams. This was more than a writing course; it was a celebration of shared understandings, and a testament to the power of words to connect, inspire, and transform. Each person found their collective voice and a sense of belonging in the enduring strength of their combined narratives.

I would like to thank the communities of St George, Thallon, and Goondiwindi for their generous hospitality, open hearts, and particularly their willingness to listen, learn, and grow.  I acknowledge the traditional owners of the lands I travelled through – the Gamilaroi, and Bigambul people and pay my respects to their Elders past and present. 

www.vicki@vickibennett.com.au

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People often ask me how I manage so many creative projects at one time. My answer is that I always do a little bit on each project every day. This entails having a spreadsheet on each project, so that I know exactly where I am and keeping that up to date. Even if I just pick up a project for 15 minutes a day, at least it keeps it moving in a forward direction. 

The other thing I do is turn up every day for whatever comes my way. Understanding that every day is going to be different, and it will bring some small or large challenges. The thing about challenges, is that they are the bearers of creativity. Without them, we would not have the capacity to stretch ourselves to grow, or develop our skills. 

I also like to reflect in my journal every day, starting each day by writing about my emotional journey. This allows me the privilege of problem-solving. My friend and fellow writer, Kerstin Pilz has shared some end of year prompts below that I have been using as general journal questions to begin 2024. My answers have revealed some key points for me moving into the New Year. I hope they reveal some valuable insights for you as well. Happy New Year.

Make a list of all the good things that happened this year. You might like to write down 12 things, one for each month, which will allow you to see just how much you have achieved and how much joy you have felt this year, even if it was a difficult year.

Write down three things you would like to let go.

What is an important lesson you learned in 2023?

Write down two habits you would like to cultivate or renew 

What are three things you are looking forward to in 2024?

Now think about your writing practice and your writing goals. Write about what you would like to achieve in the new year and what it will take to make your writing goals come true

What is your biggest block (or fear) and what will it take to liberate yourself in 2024 from what is holding you back? How can you be your best self in 2024?

If you would like to receive Kerstin Pilz’s newsletter, please contact kerstin@writeyourjourney.com